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the first couple of lbs already [Jun. 4th, 2006|11:56 am]
While the cat's away, the mouse grows FATTER! In just 48 hours since my boyfriend left on a business trip, I've already packed on a couple of new pounds. Been eating pretty steadily, and not doing much else...long naps in between big meals and snacks.

So I'm definitely on track to pack on the 10 lbs I want before he gets home. I wonder if he'll say anything...
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10 lbs in 2 weeks? [Jun. 3rd, 2006|12:17 pm]
Yesterday I had to attend a function that required that I wear a suit. Now, I don't usually have to wear one for work, so I really only have one suit for such occasions. And because I haven't worn it recently, I figured I should try it on ahead of time. Well, it's a good thing I did! When I buttoned the trousers, they were so tight I knew I wouldn't be comfortable, and I might risk ripping them. (Now, that would sort of be cool, but not in front of my boss and co-workers at this event!)

Anyway, I took the suit to the cleaners and had them let out the waist all the way. I'd guess there were a couple of inches added, so when I put on the trousers yesterday, they were snug but not painful. The jacket was also almost too small. It fit OK in the shoulders (barely), but there was no way I could have buttoned it unless I REALLY sucked in my gut. So I left it unbuttoned.

But it's time to find a new suit! One I can grow into...
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Eye candy [May. 28th, 2006|06:32 pm]
The other day at work, a guy came in who has the kind of look that has always caught my attention. He was probably about 5'10" with dark hair cut in a flat top, and a dark handlebar mustache. I'd say he was in his mid-30's, give or take. And he was wearing jeans and a white polo shirt.

What really caught my eye, of course, was his well-fed ball of a belly. The white polo really emphasized its roundness, and the light fabric clearly revealed the outline of his deep bellybutton. He had such a classic man-gut, the sort of physique that I have dreamed of having myself my entire life.

Then today, getting dressed, I decided to put on an old white polo shirt of my own, size XL. It's a snug fit, but it stretches over my belly just enough to tuck it in. And, much to my delight, when I looked in the mirror, I saw the same effect I had admired about that guy the other day.

I can't say that I'm completely satisfied with the size and shape of my belly, but it's clearly in the right league. Of course, I dream of growing it beyond standard beer belly dimensions and into the realm of truly fantastic fatness.

But it was a thrill to be reminded how far toward my goals I've already come.
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Desire [May. 27th, 2006|11:21 am]
For as long as I can remember, I have been turned on by the very thought of gaining weight. My earliest memory of this was around 5 or 6 years old when I first noticed a chubby boy my age and thought I'd like to be like him.

In second grade, my favorite recess activity was to drink from the water fountain until my belly felt like it was growing big and round. And around the age of 12, I would rush home after school before my parents got home from work and I would pad myself with pillows to create a huge gut that covered my crotch. These padding sessions were (pardon the pun) hugely erotic and eventually resulted in my first orgasm. From then on, I clearly connected being fat with my sexuality.

In high school, and still denying my gay feelings, I took out a subscription to a sports magazine -- I had the absurdly naive notion that developing an understanding of sports would "straighten" everything out! But one issue contained a revelation of a different kind. It featured an ad for some weight-loss gimmick featuring "before" and "after" pictures of a handsome, shirtless man claiming to have gone from 240 lbs to 230 and to have lost 10 inches from his waist! (The "after" photo must have just been him sucking in his gut; it was really quite a joke!) But I fixated on the notion that, in reverse, someone could gain just 10 lbs and add 10 inches to his belly. And, of course, the picture with his perfectly round paunch pouring over his waistband lent itself to hours of pleasure for me.

From high school and beyond, I began to search for photos of fat guys of all sizes anywhere and everywhere. The Guinness Book of World Records was always reliable for the supersized. And college libraries offered tantalizingly documented published case studies of weight gain experiments conducted among prison volunteers. However, since my search was always covert, I seldom purchased any of the materials for fear of having them discovered at home.

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Serious gaining [May. 22nd, 2006|01:15 pm]
10 years and over 100 lbs (175 to 280) of gaining, and I still want more. It's funny how desires and expectations continue to be out of reach, even now that I'm fatter than I ever expected to be.

Of course, the magic "300" lbs is still in the (I hope) not-too-distant future, and that milestone will be particularly gratifying. But as I gain more, I want even more. I guess that's not unique, but can the desire ever be satisfied? Why do I still feel like a skinny guy most of the time?

I'm hoping to use this forum to continue to explore these and other questions, and to keep track of the progress I am determined to make over the months and years to come. 300 is just going to be the starting point, I hope. And I hope others will take an interest and offer support and encouragement, perhaps share aspects of their journey into greater and greater fatness.
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